By Sammy Bovitz
This season is (hopefully) getting closer and closer. This article is going to continue to break down the 2020 MLB season from the perspective of our furry friends– this mascots. This is part 2–the National League.
Baxter the Bobcat is feeling a bit better. The Diamondbacks have gone through a rough patch as of late, but signing pitcher Madison Bumgarner certainly helps. In addition, infielder Ketel Marte has been a revelation, and was considered by many as a possible MVP candidate. Third, the Diamondbacks’ horrible-looking uniforms were cleaned up by Nike this offseason to ensure the Diamondbacks could actually look okay when they play well.
Blooper is feeling ready. The Braves, starring outfielder Ronald Acuna Jr., are finally ready to contend. They did lose third baseman Josh Donaldson, but added slugger Marcell Ozuna and locked up reliever Will Smith to a long-term contract. This team has nearly no holes, and it will be exciting to see how Blooper and company take on the league this year.
Clark is feeling great. Yeah, he’s so great! Everything’s normal and good! If you couldn’t tell, Clark is a bit nervous. The Cubs hired a new manager in David Ross, who famously retired after winning the championship with them as a catcher in 2016. This seems like a very desperate move for a team that is clearly no longer in its prime. Much of the championship core has declined, not because of age but merely in skill, and trade rumors now swirl around Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo, who 5 years ago seemed like they would win multiple championships together in Chicago.
Mr. Red is feeling like no one is noticing how cool he is. This team has talent, but they always lose. Their pitching always seems to improve slightly, and their lineup looks great on paper, but somehow this team can’t break through and reach the playoffs. Mr. Red is getting frustrated and wants to find a solution to this problem.
Dinger the Dinosaur is feeling prehistoric. The high elevation of Coors Field carrying the team to home runs and wins is still a lingering storyline. The Rockies continue to have no pitching and now star third baseman Nolan Arenado is mad. Dinger really wants this to turn around, and fast.
Los Angeles Dodgers:
The Dodgers fanbase is feeling heartbroken but hopeful. The 2017 World Series was one of the most heartbreaking, amazing, and infuriating times for the Dodgers fanbase. But now, insult has been added to injury. The Astros were stealing signs the whole time. They were still a good team that season, but who knows what would’ve happened had Houston not cheated? Major League Baseball acted cowardly, only taking away a couple draft picks and fining the team. Dodgers fans don’t want the 2017 championship given to them retroactively, but they surely don’t want to keep it in Houston. Moreover, the Dodgers offseason has been terrib—
Sorry, I’m getting word the Dodgers have traded for Mookie Betts, one of the best players in all of baseball, giving up nothing vitally important. Things just got real in LA.
Billy the Marlin is feeling like the odd one out. The NBA has a contender for Miami in Jimmy Butler’s exciting Heat team. The Dolphins of the NFL are terrible, but there’s hope that this will all be worth it to get a franchise QB like Tua Tagovailoa in the draft. The rest of the National League East teams all have hope. This all makes Billy the Marlin feel alone. His team is bad, and it has no apparent savior on the way. It’s a tough life for Billy.
Bernie Brewer is feeling just fine. The Brewers have a pretty solid team. They still have not fixed their pitching problem, but 2018 NL MVP Christian Yelich is still going strong as this team’s enduring sign of hope. Also, it should be mentioned that the Brewers finally brought back one of the greatest logos of all time to be their full-time primary logo: the iconic ball-in-glove that also shows the team’s initials. If you’ve never seen the logo, enjoy seeing it for the first time below. You only get to see it for the first time once.
New York Mets:
Mr. Met is feeling like he can’t get his hopes up. The Mets have improved, that much is for sure. Star pitcher Jacob deGrom, and sluggers Pete Alonso and Jeff McNeil are three legitimate All-Stars to get your hopes up around. But as Mr. Met has learned, it’s never that simple in Queens. This team has gone through injury and collapsed faster than you can say “Yoenis Cespedes.” Mr. Met has to be cautiously optimistic to keep up with this team, and that’s what he’s been doing.
The Philly Phanatic is feeling a bit underpaid. After last offseason, where $400 million in contracts were shelled out, the Phanatic got excited. Yet his team didn’t make the playoffs. He is one of the most iconic mascots on Earth, and if all these players are being paid so much to lose, why shouldn’t he be rewarded for sticking with them? He wants a larger contract… and an agent.
Pirate Parrot is feeling cheap. The Pirates are almost devoid of any talent or recognizable names. Their payroll is among the lowest in the league and they don’t seem to have a ton of prospects coming in. Their predicament is very similar to the Tigers, but, unlike the Tigers, the Pirates’ owner does not want to spend on any players, instead preferring to trade them. Therefore, the Pirate Parrot has to sit and watch as his team walks the plank.
San Diego Padres:
Swinging Friar is feeling loved again. After years of mediocre play and generic uniforms, the Padres brought back the beloved brown and yellow combination just in time for Manny Machado and Eric Hosmer to continue to rise the ranks of the NL West. Too bad the two will be making a combined $480 million over the duration of their contracts, meaning the team has almost no financial flexibility.
San Francisco Giants:
Lou Seal is feeling nostalgic. In 5 years, his friends won 3 championships. Whatever happened to those? With a terrible team and weak minor league prospects, Lou Seal’s team won’t reach championship heights for a long time.
St. Louis Cardinals:
Fredbird is feeling okay. Losing Marcell Ozuna to the Braves hurts. Of course it does. But the Cardinals’ solid foundation means they will be just fine. Besides, the Cardinals locked up the real star of their team, Paul Goldschmidt, to an extension in 2019. They’ll be fine, right? Right?
Screech is feeling like a true champion. His team won the 2019 World Series fair and square. While this feathered friend is sad about his buddy Anthony Rendon moving to LA, he’s happy he was a part of a championship team. Screech doesn’t want to just fly into the sunset, though. He likes this whole championship thing, and wants to do it again.
Who will take the crown in 2020 and make their mascot proud? We’re going to find out… in about 6 months… or longer?